We’ve all heard the saying when referring to planting an idea in someone’s head that “you might put a bug in his/her ear.” But, no one would ever actually do that, literally. Not to mention how awful it would feel to have a bug in your ear.
Well, I’ve actually checked that off as something that has happened to me. One of the many ways in which I have been scarred for life. (Not a real big fan of those stupid black birds called Martins, either, but that’s a story for a later date. Maybe. If I could ever actually get up the nerve to tell you.)
Anyway, I was sleeping in the upstairs loft of the barn with my newborn baby in her Pack n’ Play and the farmer lying next to me when I immediately woke up to something feeling really strange in my ear. It was itching, for one thing, and then it started fluttering. I whisper-yelled at the farmer, “Something’s in my ear! Something’s in my EAR!” Of course, the words were unintelligible because I was in such a state of utter panic. “I can’t get it out! I can’t get it OUT!” Mind you, it’s, like, 2:00 in the morning here and the farmer’s looking at me like I’ve completely lost my mind. I was. I was losing it. Every mother to a newborn also knows that due to lack of sleep, the crazy is exponentially increased. So, calmly dealing with things that cause even the least bit of stress is pretty much impossible.
So, the bathroom that we use is in the bulk tank room of the barn, so we quietly exit our loft and I dive off the deck to the ground.
Ok, I didn’t really do that. It’s a long ways.
By the time we reach the sink, I am a blubbering idiot. Hysterical. Bawling. Gnashing of teeth. The whole works. And incoherent. The farmer filled up a cup of water to pour down my ear to wash the bug out and I thought that was the worst idea ever. Meanwhile, I’m flailing and dancing all over the room trying to get this bug out of my ear. Eventually, he gets my attention by yelling at me: “Breauna!!! Mom got a bug in her ear once and this is how she got it out!! Now, get over here before I have to slap you!!” I acquiesced because my way wasn’t working and I was desperate to get this bug out of my ear before it crawled through my eardrum and into my brain. He poured water into my ear a total of two times before the bug came out. It was probably the tiniest gnat I’d ever seen.
I felt better afterwards, but didn’t really sleep much that night. Keeping your ears constantly covered by the blanket is not an easy feat. Finally, I decided to sleep on my side and then I would only have to keep one ear covered. I’m really smart like that.
The farmer still has a hard time wrapping his mind around my dramatic reaction and if it were to happen again, I’m pretty sure I could deal. However, I still have the phobia a little every time I stay in the barn.
I guess it’s just one more thing I can chalk up to my experiences as a “country” girl. A rite of passage, so to speak. May it never, ever happen again.
The Dairy Maid
Copyright. Breauna Krider. 10/21/11