Figures of Speech: Country Edition

I’ve mentioned before that my husband has broadened my horizons when it came to saying or referring to certain things that I’d never heard before. Things that only country folk understand and have to explain to people like me. I love hearing them and they crack me up because some of them make absolutely no sense. My husband just says them to be goofy. I’ve picked up a few along the way from other people, too. If you know of some that I haven’t listed here, please leave it as a comment! (Just make sure it’s G rated). I enjoy throwing them out there myself sometimes when I want to shock the farmer.

“a coon’s age” – used when referring to the length of time it’s been since you last saw someone (i.e., a long time) Example: “Well, I haven’t seen you in a coon’s age.” I have no idea what this means. Do raccoons live a long time? Someone please explain.

“ran like a turpentined cat” – used in reference to someone running as fast as they can away from something. Example: “She saw that snake, screamed, and ran like a turpentined cat.” I don’t really know what a turpentined cat looks like running, but I imagine they wouldn’t like that. This is a phrase I will refrain from using if I ever have a little boy. They seem to find experiments like this interesting and I kind of like our barn cats. They do the job they’re supposed to.

“useless as tits on a boar hog”- I hestitated to put this one on here because it’s crude, but I’ve heard it used so much that I just couldn’t leave it out. Believe it or not, I had to have this one explained to me.

“I’m as full as a tick”- used when referring to a really good meal that you ate to the point of miserable. I. hate. this. phrase. It’s disgusting.

“get the cat hair out of here/there” – My husband uses this one a lot. Who knows? Maybe it’s just him, but it’s kinda’ fun to say, so I say it once in a while, too. Used when referring to getting out of a place very quickly. Example: “I saw that mountain lion and got the cat hair outta’ there!” (No pun intended.)

“knee high to a grasshopper” – The farmer was the first person to ever use this phrase around me. We were dating.  He was talking about someone he’d known his whole life and something that person had done back when they were both just little tykes. He used it like this, “That’s when we were both just knee high to a grasshopper.” I looked at him incredulously and said, “WHAT?” He explained it to me like this: “If your height only reaches the knee of a grasshopper, you’re pretty stinkin’ little.” Wrap your minds around the profoundness of that, folks. I still wonder sometimes what in the world I got myself into and I just have to bat my eyes rapidly, say “ooooooook,” and move on.

Those wonderful sayings are the only ones I can think of at the moment, but I welcome more if you have them!

A glutton for punishment in more ways than I can count,

The Dairymaid

Copyright. Breauna Krider. 9/30/2011